Witness Protection Program

Ever since I read a book about twenty years ago, and saw a Lifetime Movie about the same thing, I have been intrigued by the Witness Protection Program. People who are put in this program are there for safety reasons. It's not all fun and games.

The Pros: You get to move to another city! A new house or apartment. New friends, new activities. You can reinvent yourself, be who you always wanted to be. And, you get a new hairstyle!


The cons: You have to move to another city. You give up your friends. Hey, we all have 'friends' we can weed out if we want to! But you would also have to give up your family. That means no phone calls or letters. No get togethers, no holidays, no birthday cards! No contact.

Hmm. Not so enticing now.

Ok, the reason I brought up the WPP is because I was baking. I took the glass pan out of the oven, set it on top of the stove and immediatly, for some unknown reason, tried to pick it up to move it with nothing but my bare hands. I think I'm a perfect candidate for the WPP because I no longer have fingerprints!! Ouch that hurt! It was hot! H-O-FRIGGING T. HOT!

I plunged my fingers into icy cold water and watched the steam rise to the surface. Ok, not really, but man did it hurt...and the icy water did stop the pain. Now I have little blisters forming NEW fingerprints, I'm sure.

Here's another dilemma of being in the WPP. Say for example, you buy a lottery ticket. You're sitting on your couch watching the drawing and realize that you have just won $25 million! Halleluia, Praise Jesus and...oh crap!

At some point you have to go to the Lottery Commission and turn in this ticket! And, the Lottery people being the Lottery people, will have to print your picture in the newspaper, thus blowing your WPP cover! Then what do you do? Do you risk being discovered? Do you give your ticket away? Do you send it to someone in your family anonymously? Or...do you just throw caution to the wind and cash that baby!?

Personally, I'd just throw caution to the wind and cash that sucker in! I think $25 million would be enough for me to head to another undisclosed, warm location where I could then send for my family and friends!

With $25 million I could even afford to have surgery to have my old fingerprints restored!